Dear Simon,
I am missing you so much tonight. Daddy is away, and I think about how you should be here keeping me company. I have never felt so alone. I physically ache from how much I miss you. I love you. Good night my angel.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Post for Angel Moms
This is a post for other angel moms. Stepping Stones is an amazing blog about surviving the loss of a baby. They are having a great give away! Hop over to her blog. Check out the other angel mom blogs I follow, located on the right side of my page.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
6 Months
Dear Simon,
Today is 6 months since you were born. It has been six months since I held you in my arms. I miss you every day. Today was a bittersweet day. I am sad that you have been gone for 6 months, but today marked the day that we were allowed to start trying to have your little brother or sister. It was such a beautiful sunny day, I felt at peace all day. I visited you, and brought you a car for your 6 month birthday. I read you a story and blew bubbles. And you played with the bubbles and sent me kisses. Thank you so much for that, baby. It brought me so much comfort.
I got a phone call when I got home that I have to have a test done before I can have a baby again. So we have to wait until March 16th to find out if everything is okay with Mommy. I am a little sad that we have to wait, and I am praying that everything is okay. Please be with me and bring me comfort.
There are so many people who are thinking of you today. I hope you feel the love that is being sent to you. Daddy and I are not together today, so please be with both of us until we are together again. It is hard to miss you and miss Daddy at the same time.
I hope that I am a mommy that you can be proud of. Everything I do in my life is for you. I want you to look down and be proud to say "That's my Mommy!" You have made me a better person. Thank you so much for coming into my life. I love you so much, and I miss you all the time. Even though I haven't held you in my arms for 6 months, I hold you in my heart every second. I love you, baby boy.
Love,
Mommy
Today is 6 months since you were born. It has been six months since I held you in my arms. I miss you every day. Today was a bittersweet day. I am sad that you have been gone for 6 months, but today marked the day that we were allowed to start trying to have your little brother or sister. It was such a beautiful sunny day, I felt at peace all day. I visited you, and brought you a car for your 6 month birthday. I read you a story and blew bubbles. And you played with the bubbles and sent me kisses. Thank you so much for that, baby. It brought me so much comfort.
I got a phone call when I got home that I have to have a test done before I can have a baby again. So we have to wait until March 16th to find out if everything is okay with Mommy. I am a little sad that we have to wait, and I am praying that everything is okay. Please be with me and bring me comfort.
There are so many people who are thinking of you today. I hope you feel the love that is being sent to you. Daddy and I are not together today, so please be with both of us until we are together again. It is hard to miss you and miss Daddy at the same time.
I hope that I am a mommy that you can be proud of. Everything I do in my life is for you. I want you to look down and be proud to say "That's my Mommy!" You have made me a better person. Thank you so much for coming into my life. I love you so much, and I miss you all the time. Even though I haven't held you in my arms for 6 months, I hold you in my heart every second. I love you, baby boy.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Kitty Cats and Valentines
Dear Simon,
Things have been not to bad here for Mommy and Daddy. While I think of you and miss you every day, I have not been as sad as I was. Knowing that you are always around me brings me peace. You have been getting Valentine's from your angel friends. They are so cute. I am putting them up around your tree. And I got you lots of cute Valentine's Day things for the cemetery. I just wish it would stop snowing and icing so I can bring them over!
Our kitty cat, Smelly, has started sleeping in your room a lot. I'm not sure why, but I like it that he is in there snuggled up. I think that you boys would have been great friends. He was the first one besides Mommy, Daddy and Dr. Philpott to hear your heartbeat. I recorded it at the doctor's office the first time we got to hear it. As soon as I got home, I played it for Smelly so he could hear you. And I know you loved him, because when he would lay on my belly and purr, you would wiggle and kick. I always told Daddy that Smelly's purring would be a comforting noise to you since you heard it so much in my tummy. Now, it is a comforting noise to me when I am sad and missing you.
Can I ask you to do Mommy a favor? Please can you and your angel friends watch over Miss A and her baby? And Austin to help him heal? Thank you my sweet boy. Mommy and Daddy love you so much. You are the light of our life, shining down from Heaven.
Love,
Mommy
Things have been not to bad here for Mommy and Daddy. While I think of you and miss you every day, I have not been as sad as I was. Knowing that you are always around me brings me peace. You have been getting Valentine's from your angel friends. They are so cute. I am putting them up around your tree. And I got you lots of cute Valentine's Day things for the cemetery. I just wish it would stop snowing and icing so I can bring them over!
Our kitty cat, Smelly, has started sleeping in your room a lot. I'm not sure why, but I like it that he is in there snuggled up. I think that you boys would have been great friends. He was the first one besides Mommy, Daddy and Dr. Philpott to hear your heartbeat. I recorded it at the doctor's office the first time we got to hear it. As soon as I got home, I played it for Smelly so he could hear you. And I know you loved him, because when he would lay on my belly and purr, you would wiggle and kick. I always told Daddy that Smelly's purring would be a comforting noise to you since you heard it so much in my tummy. Now, it is a comforting noise to me when I am sad and missing you.
Can I ask you to do Mommy a favor? Please can you and your angel friends watch over Miss A and her baby? And Austin to help him heal? Thank you my sweet boy. Mommy and Daddy love you so much. You are the light of our life, shining down from Heaven.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tough days and Signs
Dear Simon,
Hi baby boy. The last week has been very busy and very draining. I went to my first Face2Face group on Friday. It was Jamie's group in St. Louis. I met some AMAZING Angel Moms there and we had a really nice time. (We even got kicked out of the Bread Co.!) Saturday was Ms. A's baby shower. It was such a hard day for mommy. I am so happy for her, but I am so sad that I never got to have my shower to celebrate you. And I kept thinking about how you should have been there, 5 and a half months old, being passed around the room to family and friends with baby fever. Instead, I felt awkward and sad. I didn't want Ms. A to be worrying about me (which of course she did) and I felt like I had to fake being cheerful. Overall, going was not my best idea. Since then, I have been very down, missing you. We had a big storm this week, and I hate when it snows and ices. I worry about your place at the cemetery and I don't like not being able to go see you there. I got you lots of nice things for Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day. I am excited to bring them to you. I was looking through all your pictures today. You are such a beautiful and brave little man. I never knew I could have so much love in me.
Thank you so much for the sign you brought Grandma today. I think she has been having a tough week. You are so sweet to bring her closer to you.
I love you with all my heart. You are the best thing Daddy and I have ever done.
Love,
Mommy
PS- Can you please watch over the people I am praying extra for today? They could really use an angel with them.
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